I was honored – nay, PRIVLEGED – to win a larger-than-life-Astro doll at TrailheaDX this week. Seriously, this thing was huge:
As I carried this adorable being 0.9 miles back to my AirBNB, I noticed two totally different reactions from fellow pedestrians. Salesforce Ohana were instantly flooded with awe and envy (for obvious reasons). Regular people regarded Astro’s form with bemused uncertainty… “Why doesn’t it have a face?” and “Is that supposed to be a racoon or a bear?” were some of the choice comments overheard.
All of these questions raised along the walk — and subsequent walks carrying Astro in a Lyft, to FedEx, to UPS, and finally to the Delta counter at OAK — had me pondering a deep and critically important question: WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL IS ASTRO?
So let’s think this one through.
Hypothesis #1: Astro is a Racoon
[Image Source: Salesforce]
Astro’s tail is clearly racoonish. It has a striped pattern like most others of the species. Astro has opposable thumbs, which are characteristic of racoons and a trait rarely found in other animals.
But the fur, feet, and face? Not fitting the bill. I mean, how many racoons have you seen with bangs?
Hypothesis #2: Astro is a Bear
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Superbowl ads, it’s that bears love Coke. I don’t know, Astro looks pretty thirsty here…
[Photo credit: @ZacharyJeans]
Hypothesis #3: Astro is a Marmot
Fortune Reporter Barb Darrow suggests that Astro is a marmot.
I don’t really think Astro looks like a marmot. To be fair though, I had never seen a marmot (or even been aware that was a thing) until I googled it. You tell me what you think:
[Photo credit: Pixabay]
Like Astro, the marmot has a soft looking face and bright black eyes. The marmot lives in the wild (Montana, apparently), in an environment not dissimilar to what we see depicted in Trailhead.
We’ll put it in the “maybe” column.
Hypothesis #4: Astro is an Ewok
Ewoks, if you’re not familiar, are the adorable teddy bear bipeds that live in the Star Wars Universe. Is Astro an ewok? Hmm… possible. I mean, it is public knowledge that Astro has traveled to space:
[Image Source: Salesforce]
And Astro’s name itself suggests a connection to the stars. I’m digging this theory.
Hypothesis #5: Astro is a Puerto Rican shrew
I’ve never been to Puerto Rico, but it’s on my vacation wishlist. And what do you know, last time I built a fictional itinerary, I spied something familiar:
[Photo credit: Expedia]
These national park signs in the fair island of Puerto Rico bear an uncanny resemblance to the ones we see popping up all over Trailhead.
Could Astro, in fact, be some rare species native to Puerto Rico? A Puerto Rican shrew? A Puerto Rican sloth, or mongoose? According to my research on the plane, these native fauna are extinct – but maybe Astro helps them live on in our hearts and in our SaaS trails.
Hypothesis #6: Astro is a Human
Okay, bear with me on this one. Astro in usual form bears little resemblance to a homo sapien. The tail, paws, noseless face – not so human.
But Astro loves a good costume. Here are a few of the get-ups this little guy has flaunted since Astro was born at DF’16:
[Image Source: Salesforce]
Could Astro be a human trailblazer in disguise? Could the ears and tail be a clever cover to help blend in with bear, owl and goat friends in the wild?
Poll: We Need Answers!
[Image Source: Salesforce]
There’s only one way to settle this, and that is through the community. I need YOU to weigh in. What do you think Astro really is? A racoon, marmot, ewok, shrew, or something else entirely?